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Saturday, June 2, 2012

So, Are you getting Scared?

I have a lot of comments lately. I think it just comes with being 39 weeks pregnant and walking around outside of your home. And just having a huge basketball stomach tends to be a great conversation starter...and boy, do I have a large basketball. But the question I never can seem to answer is are you getting nervous/scared? I don't know. This question stumps me.

I had decided several months ago that I will have no birth plan. NONE, nada, zero, zilch. I can come up with several senerios in my head. One of my favorite baby documentaries is the Business of Being Born...so I can dream of some hippie home birth where everything just happens smoothly and apple just jumps on out and hops on teat and I am orgasmicly happy. I even went the Vandy midwives for several years (which I would highly recommend if that is the route you want to go). After several hurdles and problems, I had to go to some specialty doctors and decided to stay with an obgyn. Nothing has gone to plan when it comes to Lyell and I starting a family. We would finally take one step forward, all for the world to say Ah Ah Ah You need the special password...take two steps back. 

So I will be giving birth at Baptist. Both Lyell and myself were born there, so I guess we can call it a tradition. I am not scared because I am not letting anything scare me. I am not nervous because I wont let the thousand issues cross my mind. I wont make a birth plan, because all it will do is make my life go into a different direction and upset this Type A personality. 

But I am scared of one thing. My relationship with Lyell. I know that sounds super crazy or stupid to everyone else. But we have been together since we were 14 and 16. It has always been just us. We do our own thing, we know each other like the back of our hands, we have no one else to consider. And in just a couple of days, it will NEVER be just the two of us again. That scares the hell out of me. There will be another girl in Lyell's life. GOOD LORD, please don't let me be jealous of my own daughter. LOL. I am so excited, don't get me wrong. There is a new chapter in our life and it will just take me some time to adjust. I wouldn't change a thing!

Here are some pictures over the 14 years...The last one was about 2 1/2 years ago because anything else is already on my blog or facebook. You get the point...we have been together a LONG time. I wished I had some images from my parents albums. If you put Gale and Mike in context, it is hilarious because they were 7 and 8.

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